THE ANATOMY OF DATING

THE ANATOMY OF DATING (Laying the foundation for a successive Relationship)
What is first date? I'm very confident that almost if not all of us have been at this scene before even though not all of us understand the meaning of first date and what it represent.
First date is the platform where two individuals whether or not previously acquainted explore their physical and mental capabilities to pave the way for a relationship.
According to Wikipedia, it defines first date as the platform where romantic relationships are developed and future spouses are found. First date is highly important for one simple logical reason, it set the tone for a relationship, its where the purpose of the relationship is determined.
However, the importance of first date and its cultural value has been pushed to the back door and its a growing trend in this part of the world.
Is our own perception of a first date different from its simple depiction? Perhaps, its due to our cultural belief, maybe it's our mentality or could it be our sexual desire.
Absolutely there is no respect for a first date in this present society and this is one of the reason why we are having problems in relationship.
To the women folk, considerable amount of women lost their virginity first date and subsequently lost their value as a woman, Majority have had sex on their first date. Don't get me wrong, this sexual aspect of this doesn't determine genuity of your relationship but its on a very rare occasion you get something meaningful out in such relationship.

To get our priorities right and avoid catastrophic relationship, here are some tips to consider.
#1. Have a strong and confident, body language
Our body language is always very important, the first step into a relationship often stem out of psychological conviction before emotional feelings starts developing. This is evidently clear, by observing our first date, its what we see(physical attributes of our partner), follow by what we hear(personality and life philosophy) then whatever we feel will pave way for what we feed our heart to believe in.
For men: What do you wear on a first date? It doesn't have to be the latest trend in town or a diamond laced wrist-watch to announce your wealth or class. Be real, look simple, neat and attractive.
Whatever is clean! An outfit that you always feel comfortable and confident in. Remember there is beauty in simplicity.
Women: Have a soft and confident body language (To show your delicate nature). Remember that the way you look is the first signal that depicts you and thats what any man will read, What type of signal do you send out through your look, its good to look good and confident. The first date is the the platform to send out your message, this has a potential in defining and shape the way he thinks about you.
Dress attractively not sexy(unless sex is what you are preaching)
#2: Keep your cool
First dates can be nerve-racking for the very fact that you don't always know what to expect. However, there are a few tricks to keeping calm even when you're shitting your pants. Maintain a calm and mature presence(study shows that majority of women folks tends to fall for a mature and confident man). Maintain eye contact throughout your conversation (but don't over-do it; it's not a staring contest!) If you feel your voice becoming shaky, stop for a moment and take a deep breath before you continue speaking. Also, watch for any nervous behaviors like tapping your fingers on the table or shaking your foot. Besides potentially annoying your date, they are dead giveaways that you're anxious. (He's probably nervous too).
#3: Be modest
Going out for a date doesn't mean you are going to meet father christmas, don't demand too much. Order for what is averagely okay so that your partner won't think you for a gold digger. For a
better result order for a drink that is not too much and don't order for a heavy meal, snacks are okay. Eat too much of his money and you will pay for it on bed, avoid free gift, it often comes with a price.
#4: Don't be a chatterbox
So many atimes we get so carried away trying to impress our date that we forget that we're supposed to be evaluating his/her potential as well.
Obviate talking too much by engaging him/her in fun, insightful questions that will helpfully reveal what he/she is passionate about, his/her characters or personalities. Some ideas to jump-start the conversation: Do you have any siblings? How about pets? Where has been your favorite place to travel to? Have you read any good books or seen any films recently? Don't forget to follow-up on what he's saying if anything in particular catches your interest. Don't ask a direct question like ''what are your personalities'' IF YOU AREE WISE ENOUGH YOU WILL GET THE FACTS FROM HER ANSWERS
#5: Keep your answers concise and upbeat
On a first date, you don't want to be guilty of inquisitiveness. its your first time of getting to know one another, so it's best to pin-point the positive, as the saying goes. For Instance, if you're currently single (which is understandable and the reason you are there) and she asks you what happenED in your last relationship, just say that you guys parted amicably due to difference
in personality and mentality. Don't go on and on about what a jerk your former gf was and how unfair it she broke your heart, how she did this and that(she will try to put herself in that situation). You risk turning her off and giving her the impression that you're a high-drama person, even if you're not.
#6: Be prepared
Besides, looking here and there and chatting or pressing your phone, tapping into current events, both nationally and in your community, can be helpful on a first date, especially
if the conversation should get boring. Even if you're not a social geek, skimming a newspaper or taking a quick scroll through twitter or Facebook should suffice. Avoid sensitive subjects such as politics and religion (Sometimes sport if you sense your partner isn't a sporty type).
#7: Keep'em guessing
Engaging your date in an interesting conversation that catches both of your interest is the toast of a great day however, even when you're feeling major sparks, resist the temptation to do a marathon date or talk to each other all night long. It's always best to leave them wanting more, so be sure to save for a raining day
For men.
Its very important to note these tips:
1. Always be sure to get to your date at least 5 minutes after the appointed time. It gives you a psychological edge to be in charge, to give you sense of responsibility, and also to conceal the anxiety in you but don't over do it.
=> Always conceal your excitement; compliment her beauty(her smile or eyes will do the trick) but too much extolment will give her an unnecessary sense of pomposity.
For women:
There is one non-negotiable factor in having a great and reputable first date and these are:
Do not have your first date
* In his house
* In a hotel
* Party of any sort
* Do not stay alone with your partner on your first date in a secluded place, it should always be in an open place, where you can cry for help if things go wrong.
Never go to any man's house if you are not prepared to satisfy his sexual desire(not all men are monsters though but how can you tell).
Goodluck and remember to invite me for your wedding.
#Tosin
Note: The depiction of first date; the excerpt was taking from Wikipedia.